You Know Those First Sparkling Lights On A Quickly Darkening Night?
My name is Elizabeth and you are witnessing The Kindling Stars At Dusk.
Why am I here and doing what I’m doing?
This Substack and all of my work is borne of having had to live a life that was nearly, in its entirety, a lie. I was raised in a family who were some of the first people selected to be put through the CIA’s MK Ultra mind control project and because they were, I was also pulled through it in varying ways.
As a result of the programming through MK Ultra that my mother (who was my main controller) endured, she has lived with dissociative identity disorder which made her into a person that could not put forth a consistent parental role model for me and because of her and who and what she brought into my life, the deception I lived among shaped me into an equally shattered child and young woman until the point at which I realized the truth of what was going on in my family.
Since then, I have begun the process of correcting it all.
As I have worked on this process I have begun telling my story to more and more people. In the telling of my story I am not seeking to cause harm or pain to my perpetrators or to my listeners, viewers and readers. I am here telling my story because it has been in the telling, in the release, that I have found my own freedom and through me, others have found a freedom for themselves as well.
I am here to reclaim myself and move into the knowing of what I previously thought was unknowable about myself. My hope is that in telling my story and sharing my healing process, that you will find healing for something inside of you as well. The moving, and sometimes crawling through this, is very much a process and being gentle with myself and all of you — and teaching you how to treat yourself with respect and love — is why I am here.
I am coming forward courageously and sharing my story and my healing process in an effort to show that overcoming and healing from trauma is possible. My hope is that by modeling what it takes to move through this process that I will give others a sense that they too can accomplish something similar in their life or the lives of someone they love.
This Substack will change over time and may even change names. It is my hope that you are here to join me on my healing journey as I offer the wisdom I have gleaned from all of my experiences and create new iterations of this Substack that reflect my ongoing growth and healing. It is also my hope that what I write here will help you in some way with your own personal journey.
As it stands right now, as I enter into 2025, I am changing my Substack to include fiction writing so that I can flex my writer’s muscles and branch out onto new pathways as I embark on this new phase of my healing process. Because my personal healing process is fluid, my writing will be equally so.
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